Are you in a relationship where you really love each other but have stopped having sex? Guess what, you are not alone. Let?s look at the reasons behind reduced sexual activities and how to turn it around.
Loving relationships without sex
Working with couples I hear this statement often: We love each other but just don?t have any sex anymore. Often a relationship starts out with a healthy sex life, only to slowly reduce over the years. Some people might say that relationships do not survive without a sexual component. In the people I have worked with this is not the case and still, many of them realize that something is missing.
Intimacy and sex
First we have to clarify the relationship between intimacy and sex. Part of a couple?s intimate relating is not just the act of sex, there is much more to physical connection like kissing, cuddling, holding, having deep and meaningful conversation, being there for each other, physical closeness etc.
Many couples do share some form of intimacy, even though they might have no or little sexual intercourse. Or are you living together with your partner like a flat mate?
Reasons for low libido
There are many reasons for low libido and there are often psychological or physiological components:
- Stress
- Bereavement, depression and other medical conditions
- Medications
- A new baby or taking care of a big family
- Sociological influences creating limiting or conflicting beliefs about being sexual
- Hormones
- The quality of your relationship
- Changing life situations
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This list is by no means complete. It just shows that loss or reduced libido is normal and more common than is spoken about.
How to turn things around?
First of all it is important to address any physical components like stress, medications, hormonal imbalances etc. and even though you might not be able to change them completely get them checked out and looked after.
In addition you need to look into those more psychological components that influence you, like your beliefs about sexuality, your feelings in relations to your partner and how safe you feel to let go.
One of the main contributing factors to low sexual activities in couples is that life takes over and we just don?t make the time and space for it. Just like your exercise routine: It does not just happen automatically. You plan for it, put time aside during your day?s activities, take your gym stuff with you and you might even follow a goal, for example ?I go to the gym at least 3 times per week?.
Many couples still expect sexual intercourse to happen spontaneously and when they both feel like it. Do you always feel like going to the gym when you go? Probably not but you go anyway and feel good while doing it and especially afterwards. The same applies to your love life: you have to make the time, create the space, put yourself in the mood or take time to get there. Take it easy one day when you feel low in energy and enjoy the connection without necessarily having a specific outcome in mind, for example you do not need to always have an orgasm to be intimate with your partner.
Want to know more? Have a look at this blog.
Nathalie Himmelrich is the founder of ?Reach for the Sky Therapy? on Sydney?s Northern Beaches and specialises in ?relationship related issues?. She is working with individuals and couples using techniques ranging from Counselling, Neuro Linguistic Programming to Journey Therapy. She supports clients in their personal growth in a supportive and professional environment.
Visit my website: http://www.reachforthesky.com.au or visit my blog: http://reachforthesky.wordpress.com and sign up for our newsletter today.
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Source: http://weeklyfirst.com/relationship-wisdom-love-without-sex
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